I get around

Patience is a virtue I do not have, and the Czech Repubic is determined to expose that weakness. Whenever a tram is a few minutes late, I find myself checking my watch repeatedly, pacing back and forth to re-examine the schedule, craning my neck to look down the road. Everyone else stands there perfectly content to wait, probably happy to have a minute to do nothing. Now I am starting to try to contact people for my final project, and I’m finding that people certainly don’t operate on the same schedule that I do. I sent out emails three days ago, and I have gotten zero replies. When I email people in the US (professors, etc.) for similar things, I get responses usually within the hour, but certainly within 24. It’s killing me. I think the problem is that I often equate patience with apathy, but that’s a story for another day.

One funny thing I forgot to tell about my return to Prague after Bratislava/Krakow. When I was back at the house that night, Elena was still really upset with Simon (she tends to over-dramatize stuff, as do I, and I think that’s why I am able to be patient with her), and I was trying to tell her about hiking in Slovakia, but she clearly wasn’t listening very closely. Finally she burst out with; “Until now I thought Americans were fat and lazy and watched TV all day! Now you are hiking and someone else in my own house is always on the computer!” Imagine that said in an Elena voice, very passionately. She actually got a little teary-eyed. I gulped quickly, found an excuse to leave, ran upstairs and laughed.

I know I promised to talk about other things, but first I would like to mention a little more about public transportation that I don’t think I’ve brought up yet. I think about it a lot because it usually occupies at least an hour of my day. The system in the Czech Republic has many many unwritten rules that must be followed carefully if you don’t want to get some nasty looks:
1. Silence is golden. If you are old or meet a close friend, you are allowed to converse quietly, but if anyone hears what you are saying, especially if you are speaking English, they start making it very obvious (through nice passive-aggressive throat-clearing or subtle head-shaking) that you are out of line. The other day a girl answered her cell phone and I thought that there was going to be an uprising. This rule is more flexible during rush hours or on night trams, when some commotion is permissable.

2. 2 is my favorite: If an elderly person gets on and doesn’t have a place to sit, and you are not an elderly person, you get up and give them your seat immediately, cheerfully, and automatically, with a nice gesture that they should sit and a quiet, polite “Prosim.” The person then refuses your offer while simultaneously sitting down, then thanks you, and you stand for the rest of the trip. For people like me, it’s almost not worth sitting down in the first place, because 90% of the time I have to get up again, but the people whom I give my seat to are usually so kind about it (they actually smile at you) that I sit down just for the sheer pleasure of getting up for someone.

3. There will be a baby stroller on the tram/bus. It will take up half of the standing space and cause a big commotion. You will not be bothered by any of this, and instead you will help as much as possible (really just adding to the commotion) and smile at the baby. This rule isn’t set in stone. In fact, I developed it myself just this morning, but since then it’s been true every time. But seriously, there’s always a mom with a stroller, and it’s always a huge ordeal as everyone rushes to get out of her way/help her lift up the stroller. Sometimes I think that if I were the mom I would be annoyed to have so much help, but I guess it’s nice, too. I guess that there’s currently a “baby boom” in the Czech Republic, which isn’t saying much because the population has actually been declining for the past few years. They’ve been going to great lengths to encourage reproduction (offering money, mostly), and it’s finally working somewhat. Another interesting issue on that topic is that of maternity leave. Mothers get up to four years of maternity leave, and they can keep taking it if they keep having children, so some students’ host mothers have been on maternity leave for over ten years. Apparently it’s actually a problem, because mothers feel pressured to take the full time off even if they want to go back to work. I can talk more about it later if you’re interested.

4. Stay out of the way. This usually means sitting in the window seat at first, making sure to leave the seat next to you open for someone else. You would never ever put a bag down next to you. The problem for me occurs when I’m standing. Between my backpack and my clear noviceness when it comes to the bus/tram/metro, I’m always blocking someone’s path to or from the door. If someone is in your way, it is fair game to push them aside, so I get shoved a lot. It’s never mean, but I can’t say I like it, and I need to figure out how to avoid this.

5. Lines are sacred unless you don’t want them to be. Usually by the time my bus comes, we have a good line of about 20 or so people going. The people in the line are very protective of their spot, and very respectful of those around them. However, there are always some lurkers standing away from the curb who were too good for the line and try to sidle in somewhere. I let them, but then the people behind me in line get mad at me. It’s all very confusing.

6. DON’T FORGET TO PUSH THE BUTTON. Sometimes, the doors open automatically at each stop. Sometimes, they don’t, and you have to push this blinking button to make them open. If you are inside, and for some dreaded reason you forget to push the button (you are of course standing right by the door when your stop comes; there is no excuse for not being ready to get off, that doesn’t even count as a rule it’s so obvious), the people on the outside immediately lose all respect for you and angrily punch their outside button and come flowing on without allowing you the requisite space to get off. It’s horrible. Worse is when someone else on the inside reaches around you to push the button for you, and gives you a LOOK. Every teacher should be able to give that look. But I can’t do it, because I always forget to push the button.

I had to get those out. I promise this weekend I will talk about food. Speaking of, Elena hasn’t seen me eat yet tonight, so she’s insisting that I come and get something. Zitra.